I've been having some, well, difficulties with money lately...and when I say "lately", what I really mean is "my entire adult life". It's an embarrassing thing to discuss, especially with people I'm not close to, because it makes me feel like such a failure to be twenty freaking nine and still have an overdrawn checking account somewhat regularly (at least lately). Shouldn't I have this shit figured out by now? Shouldn't I have even a LITTLE bit of savings tucked away in case of emergency?? Doesn't everyone else???
I guess that's part of my problem - the whole "I SHOULD be able to do this" thing. The fact is, I have a good job in that it's steady work and pays relatively well - compared to my expenditures (yay cheap rent!). I don't have a school loan to pay off (yay dropping out of college!) or much in the way of credit card debt, so technically, this few-days-before-I-get-paid almost overdrawn freak-out I have every month should be able to be avoided. Somehow though, especially in the past few months, I've gotten into the habit of spending my entire paycheck days before I get my next. It's scary. It's depressing. I don't want to be like this.
But it's always something though, ya know? Rent needs to be paid, so there goes a big chunk of one paycheck. The next paycheck should be mine to save (or spend...no, save) but I didn't pay my phone bill last month because I was broke so I have to pay that x's 2...and, oh shit, I have NO food in the house because I've been avoiding Trader Joe's like the plague because I don't want to spend money, but that just means I have nothing to bring to work for lunch, so I've been spending money on take-out, so I do a Trader Joe's trip and end up dropping like eighty bucks. I need to go to Target for my prescription, and pick up some trivialities that end up totalling almost a hundred bucks, somehow.
Ugh. I don't want to live like this. I want to save money, I want to have a cushy pillow in my bank account "just in case". I've done it before, in fact it used to be my norm, so why is it proving to be so difficult lately? I can't pinpoint what's changed, but I'm guessing it's my attitude towards spending. I have a hard time saying "no" or "I can't afford it right now" to both my friends and myself. I know the tips and tricks for going out and still saving money, but I have a hard time being okay with needing to do that every time I go out. I shouldn't have to. I don't wake up at 7 a.m. every morning and spend my entire day in an office so that I can bring a flask with me to a bar.
Sorry to sound complainy. I know I'm lucky to have the things I do, and that my problems are insanely trivial compared to many. But I guess that's the most frustrating part about it: I have opportunities, good luck, and knowledge...so why is it that I STILL can't get my shit together???
Tell me, how to do you save money? Any tips on how to change bad spending habits?