I've been having some, well, difficulties with money lately...and when I say "lately", what I really mean is "my entire adult life". It's an embarrassing thing to discuss, especially with people I'm not close to, because it makes me feel like such a failure to be twenty freaking nine and still have an overdrawn checking account somewhat regularly (at least lately). Shouldn't I have this shit figured out by now? Shouldn't I have even a LITTLE bit of savings tucked away in case of emergency?? Doesn't everyone else???
I guess that's part of my problem - the whole "I SHOULD be able to do this" thing. The fact is, I have a good job in that it's steady work and pays relatively well - compared to my expenditures (yay cheap rent!). I don't have a school loan to pay off (yay dropping out of college!) or much in the way of credit card debt, so technically, this few-days-before-I-get-paid almost overdrawn freak-out I have every month should be able to be avoided. Somehow though, especially in the past few months, I've gotten into the habit of spending my entire paycheck days before I get my next. It's scary. It's depressing. I don't want to be like this.
But it's always something though, ya know? Rent needs to be paid, so there goes a big chunk of one paycheck. The next paycheck should be mine to save (or spend...no, save) but I didn't pay my phone bill last month because I was broke so I have to pay that x's 2...and, oh shit, I have NO food in the house because I've been avoiding Trader Joe's like the plague because I don't want to spend money, but that just means I have nothing to bring to work for lunch, so I've been spending money on take-out, so I do a Trader Joe's trip and end up dropping like eighty bucks. I need to go to Target for my prescription, and pick up some trivialities that end up totalling almost a hundred bucks, somehow.
Ugh. I don't want to live like this. I want to save money, I want to have a cushy pillow in my bank account "just in case". I've done it before, in fact it used to be my norm, so why is it proving to be so difficult lately? I can't pinpoint what's changed, but I'm guessing it's my attitude towards spending. I have a hard time saying "no" or "I can't afford it right now" to both my friends and myself. I know the tips and tricks for going out and still saving money, but I have a hard time being okay with needing to do that every time I go out. I shouldn't have to. I don't wake up at 7 a.m. every morning and spend my entire day in an office so that I can bring a flask with me to a bar.
Sorry to sound complainy. I know I'm lucky to have the things I do, and that my problems are insanely trivial compared to many. But I guess that's the most frustrating part about it: I have opportunities, good luck, and knowledge...so why is it that I STILL can't get my shit together???
Tell me, how to do you save money? Any tips on how to change bad spending habits?
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23 comments:
One thing you could do is create a spreadsheet for your monthly budget. Add in your (I assume) two paychecks, then subtract for rent, utilities, groceries, gas, etc. You can go back through your last couple of bank statements and try and get an estimate for how much you spend on going out, gas, all that stuff. That should help you to at least figure out where your money is going and how much you should have left, and by how much you're overspending, if that makes sense.
Also you should try to just always save 10% (or so) of your paycheck. Just as soon as it gets deposited in your account, whether you have direct deposit or you get checks, transfer 10% of that over to your savings account. You DO have separate checking and savings accounts, right?
I've been saving about 15% of my checks for the past year or so, afer being really lax on saving ever since I shelled out for furniture and stuff the last time I moved.
I don't know what kind of computer skills you have or what you do for a living but if you suck at spreadsheets, I could e-mail you one I setup in Google Documents that you could fill out with your own amounts. Which reminds me that I should update mine since I got a raise!
Any tips on how to change bad (___insert what ever habit you currently want to change, but don't really have the willpower to___) habits?
Start with a simple budget so you honestly know how much free funds you have each month. Then, at the beginning of each month, put this total down at the top of a note pad, and keep a running total of the "fun free funds" spending for that month underneath. When the column has a zero at the bottom, then you know you're done.
As you've said, you've been there before, so it's just a matter of moving back in that direction. Start with baby steps and move towards your goal.
Over spending is really expensive, unless you're the federal government, in which case you can just print money. And no, you can't go there...
I'm consistently broke so I have no advice to give :)
1. Sign up for Mint.com, which lets you know how much money you're blowing on different expenditures.
2. Don't buy so many clothes
3. Bring a flask out anyway. Paying $10 for a drink is just ridic, no matter how much money you make.
4. One word: Coinstar
xoxo,
Wardface
Derek - I think I just need to find a spreadsheet that makes sense to my brain, as most of them seem to complicated sometimes. Also, oh my god, do I really WANT to see how much I spend on trivialities? The answer is "no". But yeah, I know I should. Yes! Send me that Google document!
Mike - Your plan is similar to the one my therapist suggested, which is to take out however much "extra" you allow yourself to spend in cash, and when it's gone, you're done spending for that period. Since I have an excuse for everything, I'm worried that if I have more cash on me, I'll spend more...ya know? But I like the idea of the subtraction list. Thanks!
Hillary - Ugh. It's the worst. Glad to know I'm not alone!
Ward - I think #2 is pretty solid advice. Also Coinstar is rad because it feels like you're playing a slot machine!...a slot machine you're not allowed to take pictures in front of, for some stupid reason.
Oh, another thing that a friend of mine used to use is the envelope system.
http://www.daveramsey.com/etc/cms/index.cfm?intContentID=3461
I think the line from your post that stuck out to me the most is, "I know the tips and tricks for going out and still saving money, but I have a hard time being okay with needing to do that every time I go out. I shouldn't have to. I don't wake up at 7 a.m. every morning and spend my entire day in an office so that I can bring a flask with me to a bar."
Two things from this: 1. You're right, you shouldn't have to. You don't deserve to. But what you can afford and what you deserve are two very different things, and when they aren't in alignment, sometimes you have to suck it up and do what you can afford instead of what you deserve. And you need to learn the difference and how to tell yourself no when it's necessary. If you won't tell yourself no, then you will not get out of this bad cycle.
2. You don't take a flask with you to a bar when you can't afford to go to the bar. You just don't go out to the bar, period. It sucks in the moment, but not when you can say proudly that your finances are in order.
Sorry for the tough love. Please don't take offense, I just really think this is what will help you.
You don't know me, I just creepily loiter.
But!
I think one thing that definitely makes it easier for me to be more on top of my spending is dividing out my rent. I pay 630$ a month in rent, so I put 315$ into my savings account each pay period, and then move it to my chequings account for the first. I also have an automatic transfer set up to move money to my savings account each week.
I also agree with everyone else. I think the spreadsheet method is definitely the way to go though!
Check out the book Your Money or Your Life. Really good book that works on changing your view of money entirely.
I overdrew pretty much every month for years. I haven't in the last two years (cross your fingers because it might happen this month, actually), but I've also, you know, amassed a tremendous amount of other debt instead. So this is me, looking for answers, and longing for grad school to be over and employment to begin. You are so not alone.
This is basically the story of my life too, so I have zero advice. But sometimes when you feel like you're the only completely financially challenged adult in the world, it makes the stress of money (which is like the worst stress on the planet) seem that much heavier. So you're not alone. And it's hard and I know I need to fix my issues too because, damn, my paycheck are big and my rent is cheap AND YET... broke. Always. If you find a way that really works for you, spread the word. I could use the tips too!
Have you thought about scraping off even just 5% (10% tends to be ideal) of every paycheck, and just socking that into a savings account? Don't worry about the interest, really -- it's just so that you have a reserve building up. Hell, even if it's 10 dollars and not 10%, it's something. The point after that of course is that you find away to live within your NEW means, which will be slightly smaller means than your original means. Yes, this is a bit harder. But the reward in the end will be nicely.
And ALWAYS bring a flask to the bar. I mean, go to the bar. Go there. Buy your drinks, have them bought for you, whatevs, and then access the flask. Because you owe it to you. It's like extra gravy.
And lastly, don't get down on yourself. You're just being who you are right now, and when you decide to handle money differently, then you'll be that you then.
Make a budget. You know how much you get paid every month. It's divided into two pay periods. You know how much money you have to spend on rent and bills and when those are due. It's simple. Like this:
(These are all made up numbers)
1st-$1500
Item Amount
Rent $650
Savings $300
Gym $30 Netflix $18
Gas $20
Total $1018
Extra $482
16th - $1500
Cellphone $66
Savings $700
Power $20
Total $786
Extra $714
When you do that, you can see how much money you really have. Then you can set aside more in savings if you want, or spend. That's up to you. You have to PLAN and BUDGET to save though. Just telling yourself that you will doesn't help.
Good luck.
Another creepy loiterer here! I have to enthusiastically second the Mint.com suggestion---it's perfect for what it seems like you need: a better understanding of where your money is going and a way to set a budget for yourself and then track it. It'll even send you email notifications when you go over budget or have to pay an ATM fee, so it really keeps you in check. I've been using it myself and it's been really helpful!
Wow, that e-mail notification thing is a really cool idea.
Derek - Love the envelope system. It's worth a shot!
Laura - I don't mind the tough love! You're totally right! I think a problem I have is being super frugal and then just letting it all go to hell once I find something I want, or am at a place I can splurge at. Just staying home would work much better for me, as I'm not good at fighting temptation AT ALL. Thanks for your good advice.
Steph - That is a great idea, so I do get nervous that I won't be able to make rent each month, so being sure that at least that is taken care of, would be a weight off my shoulders. Great idea!
Rose - I'll get it at the library today at lunch. I need a new view.
Amy - I long to buy clothes, even cheap ass Forever 21 clothes, without feeling guilty. Wouldn't that be nice??
Shea - So far the tips left here have been pretty awesome! I think we all just need to find what works best for us, and you and I haven't found that yet. But we can! Now lets go get a drink, mkay?
Matty - I have tried the savings account thing and ended up having to transfer all that money back to my checking account in order to not be overdrawn. I mean, it was nice to have it there, but what's the point if I'm just going to spend it anyway? I always think that "saving some percent" method is for people who already have money, but I guess that's not a good way of thinking.
Philogic - I made that list with my therapist and I know how much I should have leftover, but I think that doesn't help me because when I want to spend on something extra, I reason with myself that I have it to spend. But yeah, I need to pay more attention to those things, for sure.
Diana - I have a Mint account that I haven't looked at in months! Time to sign back in, me thinks. Thanks for the advice!
I cook big pots of food up then freeze it. Right now when I get back from work I've got the choice of a lamb cassoulet, a very nice bolognese, a slow cooked beef and portabella mushroom casserole or a lamb in white wine stew. Oh, and watercress soup to start. All cooked in bulk and then frozen so the cost comes right down. That way i can waste all my spare change on an extravagant lunch. And I'm still overdrawn. Yay me.
And the Heart is a Lonely Hunter is one fo the greatest books ever written, so excellent taste you.
I have my bank account set up to automatically take all the money for rent, car payments, etc. from my checking account, and put it in my savings account, plus $50 every pay check, then it transfers the necessary expenditures back to my checking account to have them paid out. All of the interest on the money from the month stays in savings, as does the $50 per pay check. I find it easier to have my bank take my money into savings before I even have a chance to touch it.
Good lord. We could be twins. I'm 28 and constantly think that I should have this money thing figured out. But I so don't. As a freelancer I live from project to project. Its scary but your readers are full of great advice.
Yet another loiterer, what can we say, you interest even those who don't know you personally!
Here's my take on your monetary woes. It's not that you don't know how to save or that you don't know the tricks. It's more of a philosophical thing. I found long ago that the best thing to do in cases of impulse buys is to simply "postpone joy." And in the long run, training yourself to think in that mode will help in all walks of life. Now I don't mean deny yourself everything all the time, but deciding against a coffee or a muffin once a week inevitably makes you stronger. The next time it can be the little dress or the 4th drink. Your mind knows the difference between need and want deep down, you just have to commit to it. Repeat the mantra: must postpone joy, must postpone joy.
I've tried Mint-like sites, spreadsheets, and the cash method. None have worked that well for me.
I think how you are able save/spend is similar to dieting - weight watchers and a points system would never work for me, but other tracking methods do.
I have found that having a checking & savings account from one bank and another savings account at another institution (ING.com - high interest savings) has been helpful. I would put a certain amount in my primary bank savings account, and then transfer big chunks from there into my secondary savings. This worked a few ways - I had emergency cash in the primary savings if I messed up and it took a few days to get $ transferred from the secondary savings account, so I was less likely to access it for thoughtless/frivolous spending.
Keep testing methods until you find the right combo for you.
Saw your post on LifeTuner...here's a blog that I posted on the LifeTuner wall about saving money.
http://jesscaf.blogspot.com/2009/09/all-about-benjamins.html
I think for me starting to utilize a bunch of small ideas has been good for making me change my whole outlook on spending, which has helped me save even more money this month. I have also been freakishly obsessive about turning out lights and unplugging unused appliances...we'll see if that makes a difference.
A couple of thoughts:)
An old proverb says something about, "minding your flock if you expect good results" which means know the state of your assets if you want to survive and perhaps prosper in this world. So some type of accounting system (like Quicken) tracking income and expenses is necessary.
I agree with the person who said forget the flask, just don't go to bar at all. Do something instead that doesn't cost any money!
If you put one dollar a day in a jar every day for a month, then put the $30 a month in a regular savings account for 12 months, you will have saved $360 plus interest per year more than if you didn't do this plan. Do this for 30 years while increasing your daily savings from $1 to ultimately $5 and you will have earned a million dollars! You can start this right now. The only thing holding most people back is the false belief that this plan wouldn't amount to much or they start and then lose motivation.
Good luck!
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