There are many things one might miss when not in a relationship - when you're a single girl such as myself. Sure I miss having someone to talk to who has a vested interest in my life and my daily happiness, but I have close friends who fill that role pretty well. I'd love someone to cook for, and to have inside jokes with and rituals with including shunning the outside world to spend a Friday night watching our favorite movies, snuggled on the couch...but going out to a bar and having hilarious or heart-felt conversation with friends works for me, too.
I miss having sex, of course. I think about it a lot, despite what some people say about ladies thinking about it less than men...I don't think that's true. But I have an active imagination and the means to take care of that need by myself (ahem), so I can live without that for a while longer.
No, what I really miss is being touched. You don't think about how rarely that happens when you aren't single, do you? Just the basic physical act of touching, hugging, caressing, hands clasped together during a movie or over the table during dinner...these are things you can't find a good substitute for when you're single. It's something you take for granted a couple years into a relationship, but which, in the beginning, can send your heart rate through the roof and make your body feel electric.
It's something you notice, sometimes with great disdain, when you secretly peek at other couples while you're out and about. How does she wrap her arm around his waist? Are their fingers interlaced, or grasped like they're wearing mittens? Does he touch her face when he gives her an absent minded kiss while they wait for the light to change? You can't help it. You notice these things two times in your life: when you've just fallen madly in love with someone and the world around you is nearly brimming with happiness, and also when you've forgotten what it feels like to be in love, and you can't help but roll your eyes at these couples you stare at.
I've been on quite a few dates in the past couple months, thanks to an online venture that I'll possibly write about in the future, but aside from the two that lasted enough dates to finally end in a passionate kiss, my skin has lacked that magnificently strong caress from a guy who got as much of a thrill from touching me as I have from his touch.
This isn't meant to be a sad post. I'm an optimistic person and I know that someday, I too will be taking for granted the touch of that special someone once I finally open my cold, black heart enough to love. It's just, ya know, something that's been on my mind.