It's nice waking up and knowing that your grogginess and sleepiness is not due to a hangover, and that your entire day isn't going to be spent basking in depression and regret.
It's nice to have friends over for dinner on Friday night, and then go to bed early and sober, instead of drinking at a bar and taking the risk of getting a DUI or worse.
It's nice knowing that I'm not ever going to hurt myself or someone else because of my inability to know when I've had too much, and shouldn't be driving. That's one of my biggest fears.
It hurts me to know that there are people who were once part of my life, who never got the chance to decide otherwise.
It's nice to finally recognize my shortcomings, and know there is something I can do about it.
It's scary to think about how bad it could have gotten...to hear stories from people for whom it did get that bad, and to know that I'm just lucky, not different.
It's wonderful and terrifying to share your faults as a human to a roomful of strangers, and to have those strangers come up to you afterwards and to realize that they genuinely care.
It's heart wrenching and overwhelmingly fulfilling to actually care back.
I'm so incredibly grateful for the change that's happening in my life. It's scary and overwhelming and, quite frankly, straight out weird, but I know that I'm already a better person because of it.
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9 comments:
This is wonderful to hear.
Regardless of whether this is something you want to do on a permanent basis, or just for the interim to gain some perspective and such -- keep up the good work.
So I guess this would be a bad time to offer my recipe for Beer battered Beer for your next Domestic Tuesday?
Doing great, lady! Always follow your heart and thank you for letting us follow YOU on your journey! And it is nice becoming reacquainted with the fact that we are all connected and therefore can offer many a comfy shoulder to lean on. Don't REALLY know you, but as a fellow human I am proud of you!:)
"It's nice to finally recognize my shortcomings, and know there is something I can do about it."
I hear you, my dear. I HEAR YOU. Good for you for taking those steps. Truly.
i think it's great you have enough courage to do try and make changes. It isn't easy. But you know what? Life never is, anyway. You just happened to figure that out sooner rather than later and get on with your life in a better way.
So from someone who doesn't know you at all, and for whatever it's worth: good for you.
Good for you. I'm glad to see you're feeling better. What's better than waking up, getting going and having a little skip in your step the whole day? Maybe someone handing off a big heaping pile of ice cream to skip around with but, you get what I mean...
this is beautiful. i only know you a little bit, but i admire your strength so much after reading this. good luck, though it seems youre on your way to finding the place in yourself thats strong enough that luck wont be a factor. what a fucking awesome example of an intelligent human being.
I applaud you...it's not an easy thing...my Dad was an alcoholic too, and he has been sober for several years now...hang in there and you will come shining through!
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