I think I fell into a shitty pattern when it came to drinking recently. I think I'm a little lonely and a good excuse to get out of the house and have some company is by grabbing a drink. The past two weeks of not drinking have been really good, and I plan on sticking with the changes I've made. But I'm not an alcoholic, it's as simple as that.
I think turning 29 freaked me out more than I expected it to, and I suspect that has a lot to do with my booze freak-out. But I sipped a beer with a friend on Saturday afternoon, a cold Belgium ale in a frosty glass, and then went home and took a nap. And that was it. And I remembered that I do that a lot more often than I try to keep up with my (much larger) friends at a dive bar and end up hungover as fuck the next day. I'm a small girl. Two beers are a lot for me, really.
So that's that , it seems. I don't need booze, but it does help me with that whole social anxiety issue. But I went on a date yesterday, and without the aid of alcohol or Xanax (just a ton of coffee) it went well...really well, actually. Really "I'm looking forward to seeing him again and even though I was super nervous I didn't make a fool out of myself" well. So that's good.
Sipping on gin and juice (minus the gin)**photo by Jonah Ray
10 comments:
Glad to hear that the process was a success, insofar that you learned something about yourself and no longer feel the need to rely upon either extreme (for lack of a better word). Cheers!
Alcohol, like punching people in the face, is best in moderation. Also, sounds like you found a pretty damn lucky guy.
Congratulations! This is a healthy post :) That coconut juice is AMAZING. I love that stuff!
Yay on the alcohol-in-moderation front and on the dating front! Hope to hear more about the guy soon :)
It's funny, I talked a lot in my own therapy sesh tonight about my drinking (or past drinking, i should say) and it's relation to my social anxiety and the fact that since I've been pregnant I've turned into a complete hermit that has no patience for anything or anyone. There is a major correlation there and it's a scary one.
Anyway, moderation is key. I just wish it came as easily for some as it does for others.
ps- now i want a coconut water like WHOA.
You sound like you've got it figured out.
I did the whole "take a month off" thing last year, and I totally stuck to it but I didn't see it deliver any real material benefit after the first week. I think taking a week or two off at a time to break shitty patterns is a good approach for people like us... I'm sure you understand after attending those meetings that the real "alcoholics" are people whose life functions are severely affected by their addictions. That's not me. The worst thing about my alcohol consumption is that if I've hit the wall with something in my life, it just doesn't help to binge it away. But I typically don't go down that path.
I say this because last year when I made this decision, I blogged about it and then got a lot of feedback from the true recovering alcoholics. They were very supportive. But I got the same kind of feeling that you did - I'm not a real "alcoholic" and I knew I was just taking a breather, so I'm wasting these people's time if they're talking to me because they think I'm in distress. There are people in actually distress who need the attention more than I do. (and I'm stubborn as an ox, so when I quit something, it's finished!)
At the very least you've gained an awareness of their problems at AA, so you are in a better position to do something charitable. You now know more about the situation than most people do, and you can use that info to make an impact. Maybe you'd want to donate to a support or advocacy organization, make yourself available to talk to others who need assistance, or in the future pull together a intervention for a friend if one of them needs it. So instead of feeling bad about taking help from "real alcoholics" that you don't need, you can turn it around and give them the help they need.
I hope you dont think you're getting any of your alcohol back. I dumped the Tecates. Kate and I got buzzed on the wine adn i'm slowly sipping the whiskey away.
Captrenault - Thank you! It's nice to get supportive comments like yours.
Jake - Haaaa! Now I just need to find someone to punch in the face (in moderation, of course).
Rose - Yay for healthy posts! I also LOVE that coconut juice.
Laura - Woot!
Carla - Yeah, the hermit thing is a pretty easy hole to fall into, for people like us. I just really LIKE being alone sometimes, ya know?
Brian - That was so perfectly put. Thank you so much for your comment, it meant a lot to me
Ben - Ugh, you can keep that shit.
I hear ya, girl. I took the past week and a half off, short of a glass or two of wine at the wedding this weekend... and I feel AMAZING. I'm definitely going to keep it up! Not drinking on weeknights is the best idea ever... I can't believe I'm saying that, but it is. :-)
And this is the ultimate realization I tend to have as well anytime I freak out and think I need to go to an AA meeting because of my love affair with all things wine ;)
Post a Comment