In Treatment

Two weeks ago I started seeing a therapist. A good friend had been going to see this woman for quite some time, and spoke very highly of her, so I thought I'd give it a try. Before that, though, I started taking Zoloft. I had been depressed - not a deep, heavy depression - but a lingering one that I just couldn't shake. My natural optimism had taken a back seat and even simple things like listening to commercials on the radio left me feeling emotionally drained and helpless. I did some research on the trusty Internet, and walked into the office of the cute, young psychiatrist intending on walking out with a prescription for Zoloft, and that's just what I did.

I took Zoloft for two months and during that time I was exhausted constantly, couldn't sleep at night, had zero sex drive (like, I didn't even "rub one out" ONCE!), and worst of all, felt absolutely nothing. It was terrible, that last part. I was numb and all experiences I had measured a nonplussed "meh" on my radar. I stopped taking it, called my friend's highly-spoke-of therapist, and made an appointment.

I've been to a good number of therapists in my life, starting with family therapy as a child...I'm an old hand at it, really. I've had a small few that have helped me immensely, such as the grandfatherly man who guided me through my difficult break-up and subsequent move from San Francisco two year ago using wry humor and explorative questions. But more often than not, I don't get much out of the few sessions I end up sticking with, before calling to cancel and never rescheduling.

What gave me some level of optimism with this therapist though, although also some amount of pause, is that she incorporates astrology into her practice. For me, astrology is nothing more than an occasional glance at my daily horoscope (usually a "read mine, too" if a friend is reading theirs), doing one of those stupid "are you compatible??" sign comparisons when I like a dude (then subsequently ignoring all negative feedback), and hesitantly telling people I'm a Gemini but swearing that I'm nothing like a typical Gemini when asked what my sign is (because EVERYONE has an evil ex that was a Gemini...even I do).

Anyway, I was hesitant but hopeful, although mostly nervous that she'd pull some "you're going to meet the man of your dreams on June 16th" bullshit and I would leave feeling just as lost. Instead, she uses my astrology "chart", which she had mapped out after getting my birth date and time, to direct the session, and it works wonderfully.

After asking me a ton of questions (which is essential for me as I don't normally feel comfortable talking about myself at length ((says the girl with the public blog)) during our first session, she mapped out both of my parents charts, as well as my sibling's, and guides the sessions by saying something along the lines of "your mother's moon is in such-and-such, and yours is in so-and-so, which probably means there's a lot of blah blah blah between you guys?" Which started a conversation about my relationship with my mother in which things came out that I had never discussed with anyone before, so I guess that's good progress? So yeah, she basically uses astrology to guide the session, as well as to help explain why I do the things I do, and what kind of person it makes me.

I love meeting with her, and have left both sessions looking forward to the next. I don't feel 100% yet, but I feel like I'm sorting things out that I've never really worked on before. The best part, though, is that she has two miniature poodles in her office which happily sleep on your lap while you discuss your childhood traumas and how they relate to you being a 28 year old who still doesn't really understand "dating". Puppies and psychoanalysis. It's kind of a win/win situation.