14 Things You Didn't Know You Wanted To Know About Me...and probably still don't.

Lindsay of Adventures Of A Book Thief tagged me for this "Honest Scrap" award thing. I don't usually do "meme's", not because I'm a snob, just because I usually can't think of 25 or whatever interesting things about myself. This one only calls for only 10 though, and supposedly you're supposed to be extremely honest. Instead I'm combining it with that "25 Random Things About Me" and am listing 14 random, but very honest things about me. I'm combining it with LiLu's "TMI Thursday", which I've always wanted to participate in. If I lose some readers after this, I won't be surprised.

1. I've been on the birth control pill (I accidentally just wrote "birthday control pill", ha!) since I was about 16, when I started dating my first serious boyfriend. That boyfriend has since died, when he drove off the freeway into a wall, but I've continued to take the pill, whether or not I have a boyfriend.

2. Speaking of Planned Parenthood, I recently went in for full STD testing. The first time I got tested for HIV was a year prior, and holy hell, have you ever done that??? It's fucking nerve wracking. Ya know, I KNEW everything would turn out fine (and it did, both times), but actually hearing it for certain is a relief you don't understand until it happens.

3. I stopped listening to the radio on my drive home recently as I realized it was causing me a lot of stress (NPR, mostly) and since then I've had a lot more time to think. My favorite realization so far has been that the safest I've ever felt, the most calming place I've ever been, the place I would move to if it actually existed IRL, is the beginning of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride (which I called Carrots of the Piribbean when I was little) at Disneyland, when you first get on the boat and you're floating through the swamp, past the restaurant? Yeah, there.

4. Since my mom has started reading this, I may as well throw one in for her: Mom, once when I was little, I was mad at you and you asked me to set the table...well I spit on your plate and rubbed it in before setting it down at your place at the table. Sorry, but you probably deserved it. I promise not to do that again when you come for dinner this weekend.

5. Here's one for my brother: Asher, remember when we were kids and I told you to close your eyes and open your mouth, and then I stuck a kleenex into your mouth and ran away? Well I lied, I had actually just blown my nose on the kleenex. Sorry, but you probably deserved it, too. I promise never to do that again...maybe.

6. I like to think of myself as a fairly intelligent person, above average at least, but sometimes I do the dumbest things, which leave me questioning my intelligence completely. For example, a few years ago, when I first started cooking, I was using a food processor (which I had never used before, in my defense), and used a knife to push something down through the spout on the lid WHILE THE FOOD PROCESSOR WAS ON. Yeah, well the knife hit the spinning blade and was propelled up into the air. Instead of landing, I don't know, IN MY HEAD, it just fell innocently to the floor. Good god.

7. During my entire five year relationship with my ex boyfriend, I only farted twice...and both those times were accidents. Farting embarrasses the hell out of me (when I do it, not when someone else does it)...burping though, that's another story.

8. About every year or so I find myself working in an office that stocks the kitchen with V8, and I get it in my head that, although vegetable juice has always made me gag almost to the point of vomiting (I mourn the lack of Bloody Mary's in my life...they look so GOOD!), maybe my taste buds have matured and V8 will be a good way to get some veggies in my person. Today was one of those days. I just opened the can and when the smell hit me, I gagged. I'm going to plug my nose and chug it, and then chug some coffee after...wish me luck.

9. Speaking of vomiting, I have a really high tolerance for it, in that it doesn't bother me that much. I know some people freak out at the thought of it, but ya know, if it happens it happens, in my book. I don't do it often, but when I need to, it's pretty easy for me. I guess I have an amiable gag reflex?

10. Speaking of vomiting, again...V8 can go fuck itself. Ugh.

11. The last time I stole anything was about four months ago, when the line at the grocery store was super long, and all I needed was a little bottle of dried herbs for something I was cooking. I stood in line for ten minutes before sighing in exasperation and sticking the damn thing in my purse and walking out. I don't make a habit out of stealing, in fact it had been years since I had done so, but I don't feel badly about it. I don't plan on doing it again anytime soon, though.

12. I'm pretty certain that I've dreamed a lot of things that have later happened to me. It's all little things, at least the details I can remember, and it's different than deja vu in that I know it was from a dream. Sometimes I'll wake up from a vivid dream and think to myself "That's going to happen in the future". Just yesterday I got up from my couch to grab something off my kitchen table and the way I was standing, the way my living room was laid out, every detail had happened in a dream I had years ago. Too bad it's not useful shit like winning lottery numbers.

13. I've had close to 20 jobs in my life, but the very first one was my favorite. I worked in the bakery of the family-owned market that I grew up across the street from. When I went back to visit my old home a few months ago, I jaywalked across the street to the market, just like I did a thousand times during my childhood. I sat outside the place where the market had been, which was now sectioned off into a few nondescript stores, and stared. I would work in a bakery for the rest of my life if it was feasible (and write, of course).

14. Although they're adorable, sea lions scare the shit out of me because you can tell they're just dogs that decided to go swimming instead of hang out on land with humans a million years ago. Seriously, have you ever really looked at one? It's like one pack of dogs were all "hey brah, I'm gonna go swimming", and the other pack was like "cool, I'll be on land chillaxing with the humans if you need me. later days."