I'll go first:
What, are you gonna go your WHOLE LIFE and not shave your head?!
-In an act of misguided high school feminist defiance, I had my best friend take a set of clippers to my shoulder-length hair.
What, are you gonna go your WHOLE LIFE and not play on a dodgeball team?!
-The season play-offs are tonight...I just wish I wasn't hungover as fuck.
What, are you gonna go your WHOLE LIFE and not feed a spoonful of sand to a baby?!
-You can read about that incident here.
What, are you gonna go your WHOLE LIFE and not puke on a subway platform in New York City?!
-I'd rather not talk about this incident. It wasn't my crowning moment.
What, are you gonna go your WHOLE LIFE and not steal your friend's mother's car when you realize you can start it with a flathead screwdriver?!
-In my defense, I was just the passenger. I was a bad kid.
What, are you gonna go your WHOLE LIFE and not carve your best friends initials into your ankle with a safety pin and Indian ink?!
-You can read about this here.
What, are you gonna go your WHOLE LIFE and not think it's a good idea to go roller skating in a hilly neighborhood of San Francisco and subsequently fall on your ass, possibly breaking your tailbone?!
-This was just dumb...dumb dumb dumb.
What, are you gonna go your WHOLE LIFE and not accidentally set fire to the paper towel dispenser in the bathroom of your Jr. High School?!
-You can't prove anything.
13 comments:
What, are you gonna go your WHOLE LIFE and not get sucker punched in the face on the subway in New York?
-That's probably a good idea.
What, are you gonna go your WHOLE LIFE and not cut your own hair in the bathroom of a hostel in France and then wear that hair, all grown out, to your sister's wedding?
My aunt said "Interesting haircut."
and i was thinking about spoon-feeding sand to a baby. thank you for the heads up.
What, are you gonna go your WHOLE LIFE and never spill a ramekin of olive oil on a baby's wee bald head as you serve the family dinner in a restaurant?
Guaranteed to ruin your tip...
what, are you gonna go your WHOLE LIFE and not hold salt and an ice cube in the palm of your hand as long as possible to see the initials of the person you are going to marry?
it seemed so innocent when EVERYONE else was doing it, but the doctor kept shaking his head as he treated my 2nd degree burn...damn
What?! Are you gonna go your whole life and not climb up in the sign of the Essex Hotel and talk like Don Pardo?!?
Yep, my first week in NYC.
Dan - Everyone needs to be sucker punched at some point in their lives, right? New York seems like a good place for that sort of thing.
Kurt - Oh I have many "cut my own hair" stories, the worst being the time I was high on children's cold medicine (as an adult, mind you) and decided that my bangs were just too long.
lilu - Oh dear. I can't even imagine the apologizing that took place after that. I once spilled a bowl of soup onto the lap of a nicely dressed business man. Sucked.
lbn - !!! I didn't even know that could happen! That reminds me of how we used to do that thing where you'd basically hold your breath and a friend would puch on your chest until you passed out. Wow, kids are fucking stupid!
Hugh - Again, I feel like this is something everyone should experience once in their lives.
What are you going to go your WHOLE LIFE and not let a man who is older than your father and wearing a wedding band stick his tongue in your ear at a fancy restaurant because he's a Pulitzer Prize winning author?
What, are you gonna go your WHOLE LIFE and not get so drunk that you puke out your nose?
What, are you gonna go your WHOLE LIFE without waking up in the morning with leaves in your hair, not knowing how they got there?
What, are you gonna go your WHOLE LIFE and not spill orange juice in the lap of a very posh customer at a fine dining restaurant?
What, are you gonna go your WHOLE LIFE without spitting a mouthful of martini all over your friend's face?
What, are you gonna go your WHOLE LIFE and not shave off half your eyebrow?
What, are you gonna go your WHOLE LIFE and not have a sports car drive over your foot?
What, are you gonna go your WHOLE LIFE and not get busted by the cops for streaking in the quad?
Hey!!! I puked on a Subway platform in London!! Not my most crowning moment either but, you know, they should have some sort of nook for this kind of situations.
What, are you gonna go your WHOLE LIFE and not use CO2 as a substitute for whip-its while working at Subway? (Note - this is a VERY bad idea.)
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