Regarding my post on Monday, about the shooting across the street from my house (the second in three months), LiLu commented that every place has its "something" that would make one not want to live there, and that everyone had to choose what that something was for them. She's totally right, and for a lot of people someone getting killed in a drive-by while they were minding their own business across the street, is that "something". As a single girl, who is home alone a lot of the time, it should be that "something" for me, too.
Part of me wonders if I'm in shock. It's not every day that a girl from a solidly middle class town moves to a neighborhood where she finds herself ducking behind furniture every so-often to avoid stray bullets, right? In a way, I'm embarrassed by my audacity. Who the hell do I think I am, moving into a neighborhood like this by CHOICE???
Along those lines, I feel a good amount of guilt about the fact that I can break my lease and up and move-out in a months time, while my neighbors, the ones who are equally innocent bystanders, are stuck where they are due to their shitty lot in life. My adoration of the grittiness of East Los Angeles over its suburban counterparts is quaint, but I'd imagine it's pretty insulting to those who would happily amputate a limb for the chance to live anywhere else. To be fair, though, this move (and yes, I am planning on breaking my lease and moving out) isn't going to be easy for me, monetarily speaking.
Despite the shitty catalyst which brought me to this decision, I think the outcome will be a good one. I've started looking for studio apartments and one bedrooms, as I think it's about time I gave living alone a genuine try. Anyway, I don't think it's shock that's causing me to be so calm about this situation. I've always been somewhat preoccupied with death, and I'm well-aware that moving out of my neighborhood isn't going to protect me from being shot...it's as simple as that. But I'd at least like to narrow the odds a little in my favor.