There's this game I play with myself. It doesn't really have a name, but if forced to, it would probably be something along the lines of "What's The Most Embarrassing Thing You Could Do Right Now?!" I'll give an example: sitting on the edge of the pond I regularly eat my lunch beside, I imagine myself going limp, and slowing rolling myself into the water, as my fellow solo lunchers look on in shock. Then, soaking wet, I gather my belongings, and make my way back to my office as if nothing happened.
There are countless scenarios I've compiled over the years. Stripping to my bra and undies and breaking into an impromptu show tune in the middle of an important meeting, before running out the door and out of my coworkers lives. Jumping atop a table halfway through a fancy dinner and, while leaping from table to table, kicking expensive glasses of wine and plates of food into the stunned faces of fellow patrons. I've had to hide my smile behind a hand via a fake nose rub countless times at the most inappropriate of places because these scenarios amuse me so much. It's also been helpful, though, during times of social anxiety as thinking of the worst thing, and knowing I'm not going to do it, helps to relax me.
It's this reason, as well as other funny thoughts that cross my mind and force me to restrain my laughter, that I don't hate myself, nor have the burden of struggling with low self esteem. I make myself laugh. I love people who make me laugh. It's the main character trait that I look for in friends, and one I prize above all others. Every single one of my friends has made me belly-laugh on multiple occasions. No one makes me laugh more than my own little brain, and the absurd, obscene, hilarious narrative that's constantly running through it.
So what about you? What's the most embarrassing thing you could do right at this moment?
8 comments:
I could tell people i read this blog.
I always giggle at the idea of farting at the most inappropriate moments. So easy, so stupid...
I often think of doing something outrageous when I'm at a particularly boring dinner or party. But the things I think of I can't tell here.
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What's the most embarrassing thing you could do right at this moment?
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Ask out a blogger because I think she's a killer writer.
Ben: Fuck off. Also, my fingers still smell like taco truck.
Leah: Yeah, I think about that too.
Kurt: I wrote about how I want to dance around in my underwear and sing show tunes to my coworkers...you have to give me at least ONE of yours! Seriously, you won't offend me.
Anonymous: Gee whiz! That would be pretty bold!
I could dress up like Pippy-Long-Stockings and cavort around the street while handing out big rainbow lolly pops and singing Tomorrow from Annie... but I think farting will always win.
let out a loud and disgusting fart in the middle of doing my slide presentation in class.
btw, i had indian pizza last night in the mission.
It involves bodily functions.
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